Monday, October 10, 2011

Down 18lbs and Gaining Insight

Well - today is a better day.  Last night - Jordan slept in bed with me - not very comfortably with all of the pillows I require for comfort - but he was there.  I also had a very nice morning - my girlfriend Kristi came for a visit!  We went for a short walk with the bulldogs and chattered away.  She told me that she would be happy to be my walking partner - which I was thrilled with - I'm planning on taking her up on her offer sooner rather than later.

As difficult as this has been, I am gaining alot of insight - which is probably stuff that is painfully obvious to most everyone else.  In short - the following:

  1. I had NO IDEA how addicted to food I was - am - were - whatever.  I ate when I was happy, sad, bored, angry - it was my #1 comfort - and though its a good thing I can't do it now, it is a bit frustrating. 
  2. Nearly every social interaction I've had was food related - going to meet a friend for a meal and shopping - food at parties - etc.  I find that I am feeling very excluded at the moment.  I think this is why the walk with Kristi this morning was such a wonderful surprise. 
Even though I am on to the pudding / soup stage of  my diet (I have to puree mushroom soup b/c the tiny bits of mushroom are too big for me!) - my stomach really has not been growling.  I am however, very excited to move onto the egg salad and pureed chicken salad portion of the diet which starts this Wednesday.  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I've been researching recipes - and I'm ready to get my short but sweet list and head to the grocery store.

I will say that when I stopped feeling sorry for myself today - I realized how many wonderful people I have in my life.  Such amazing family and friends - it's overwhelming.  My friend / sister Cynda barely left my side in the hospital.  My eyes would flutter - and she would be there with an ice chip for me.  She really was my right arm in the hospital - and I cannot imagine how I would have gotten through those days without her.

I'm at work for a little while today - and honestly - it feels pretty good right now.  I don't want to push my luck - so I'm not here for a full day - but I'm working my way up to it!

Off to write a report - and have a few bites of protein pudding!

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