Monday, January 9, 2012

58 down - plenty more to go.................but making progress

So - 58 lbs in a little more than 3 months is nothing to sneeze at - as a matter of fact, I'm at about 60% of my weight loss already - but still I wish it were more.  I can't help it.

I've traded in most of my 3X's for 1X's, and even an XL and one L (that felt good - but I knew the item  was made to be loose - nevermind!)  I still seem to buy things in my old sizes - and find that I have to return them for smaller ones.  Not a bad problem to have I suppose - but I never seem to know what size I really am!

I've had a very stressful holiday - which has contributed to some poor eating habits creeping in.  I've recognized that - and corrected it.  This is still new to me, so I learning as I go - and doing the best that I can.  I will say that I have noticed some people treating me differently - and it is upsetting.  All of the sudden I am "more interesting" - etc.  The opposite also seems to be true - I'm not sure if everyone is happy about my weight loss  -  and I don't get it at all.  I'm by no means a "changed" person with regard to who I am - just a little lighter.  I sort of feel like there are those who want to maintain the "fat funny sidekick" to maintain their comfort.  I don't feel like they are happy for me - or are even considering the benefit to my health.  Sad - sort of starts to show you who your pals are - you know?  I was told all of this before the surgery, but I didn't think it would be applicable to me at all.

My back is still very bad from my car accident in May 2010.  Many thougt that the weight loss would really help things - but to be honest - things seem to be getting progressively worse.  It's a very bleak outlook from my perspective at present - but I am making the rounds of Dr's appts again to see if there is something new happening - or some new treatment.  My fear is that I will be told that there is nothing more they can do - and that it will be progressive - which is what they have said before.  UGH -keep your fingers crossed for me!

I am having a girls weekend with my girl Cynda in Feb - we are going to FL for a long weekend - which I am VERY MUCH looking forward to.  She is like a sister to me - and it's so nice to have someone in your life who gets you - even telepathically!  I never have to explain myself - I can just BE.  VERY VERY RELAXING.  I love her!  I'm just hoping that the sun will be there during our visit - reports have been in the low 60's  -  still better than what we have in MD!

Ok - somewhat smiling picture of me today - best I can do for the moment!  More soon!!

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